Revolutionary New Drum Micing Technique!!

[dangercityskyline]

CAPTURE EVERY DETAIL WITH JUST 3 SM57'S!

Have you ever wished for an easier way to clearly record your drums? I know I have, but for years I'd never been quite satisfied with different methods, including close-miking and the recorderman method. So, I set out to develop my own, using as few mics as possible for simplicity. This will show you my cutting-edge new drum micing technique.

Other micing techniques involve complicated room acoustic calculations and complex mic placement to achieve a desirable sound. However, my new "Direct Impact Method" places the mike as close as possible to the source at the time of stick impact for maximum clarity and punch.

The best part? All this can be done with only 3 Shure SM57's and a LOT of duct tape! And now, I'm going to show you how to achieve these amazing results in a simple 3-step process. Are you ready? Then let's go!

First, have the drummer find the biggest, burliest, most lumberjack-resembling pair of drumsticks he or she can. However, the drummer needs to be comfortable playing with these sticks for long periods of time as they will be rather heavy in the final configuration.

Next, using extremely copious amounts of duct tape (preferably brightly colored), tape an SM57 to each drumstick so that the windscreen end of the microphone is level with the tip of the drumstick. This is very important for getting as ABSOLUTELY CLOSE to the source as you can. Tape the mic cables up the drummer's arms and over their shoulders, making sure you use as much duct tape as humanly possible, especially if they have hairy arms. Run these two cables to a premium preamp, as they will consist of 2/3 of the drum's sound, and you won't want to miss out on a thing.





At this point, you're 2/3 of the way through your tutorial! Keep going, you're almost done!

Last, take your one remaining SM57 and tape it to the beater of the kick pedal. Make sure the windscreen end of the mic is lined up with the end of the beater and that it is directly facing the beater head of the kick drum. This may require large amounts of tape. If using a double kick pedal, use another SM57 on the other beater, set up the same way. Run this into whatever preamp you desire. This will capture the exact sound of the beater impacting the head, with no EQ or compression needed!



You are now completely set up with the Direct Impact Method of drum micing. Good luck, and feel free to discuss your results!

(DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for the mics getting hit on the drums, or the drummer getting frustrated and simply playing the drums with the mics. But I understand: after all, you did pay $100 for each one of them, but don't worry: My license agreement with Shure allows me to tell you that each of these mics has been certified as Class-A Military Grade Nukeproof Indestructible by a thorough examination at a top-secret testing facility under the Arizona desert.)

[Popolocho]

LOL, this is great!

[String7th]

Please use this type of theory and help me with my vocal recording. Maybe a small surgical operation to get the mic close to the vocal chords?

Ooooh, a good, but expensive way for piano. 88 tiny little mics and a case of duct tape.

[willieturnip]

Hahaha. Genius.

Most drummers would probably go along with it to be honest!

[Audio~Geek]

Great idea. Post clips!

[boo]

Excellent!

[dangercityskyline]

Please use this type of theory and help me with my vocal recording. Maybe a small surgical operation to get the mic close to the vocal chords?

Very good. That's an excellent possibility, but I was actually considering a newly-developed technology known as the Brain Mic. It's an omnidirectional condenser mic implanted in the left nostril that captures the vocalists's ideal performance without them even having to open their mouth! All they have to do is think the words!

I'm also considering an acoustic guitar micing method involving nanoparticle-sized wireless mics woven into guitar strings.

[String7th]

Wow, now that's getting pretty damn sci-fi!

[dangercityskyline]

Probably. I'll just stick to the drumstick-micing for now.

[Starlight182]

I just tried it and broke both of my mics in under 5 minutes.