Check out my new song "Stage a Comeback." It's a deep, soulful track.

[renschen21]

Produced by Sinima Beats. Check it out.

Lemme know what you think.

[edub357]

welcome back renny the production sounds clean. if you were to use adlibs it will bring out even more dimension and impact to this sound, i like the sound and the vox sound clean. good work

[glenlata]

hear some plosions in there, production is clean, vocals on the verses is a little out front sounds like to me. might wanna work on the flow a little bit. I love the story telling but the flow doesn't sound .. . . . . . . flowy. . . . . . yeah i think thats it, it doesn't sound flowy to me. it sounds kinda forced and unnatural.

[awaken1]

I like the words and how you were able to make that style of music fit to what your doing vocally..The only thing I'm hearing if anything, is the cadence of what your saying during the verses gets a little redundent at times..maybe mix it up a little bit with some syncopation..kinda like you did at :50-:59.. That was a nice passage right there..

[MostRequested]

feelin the beat bro! it kind of brings me back to the 90s. i think adlibs can be added like edub said.

[renschen21]

Thanks everyone. Yea I'm kinda at the stage right now where I get so pumped to get a song out that I rush it a bit. I just finished writing the song yesterday and then recorded for like 8 hours straight. Once I have the words even better I'll open up the mix again and re-record the verses to enunciate even more. As for ad-libbing, do you mean like just saying certain words from my verses as another recorded track underneath, or like sayin stuff randomly kinda like a lotta rap now?

Also, should I turn down the volume on the verses just a lil bit?

Thanks!

[glenlata]

Originally Posted by renschen21

Thanks everyone. Yea I'm kinda at the stage right now where I get so pumped to get a song out that I rush it a bit. I just finished writing the song yesterday and then recorded for like 8 hours straight. Once I have the words even better I'll open up the mix again and re-record the verses to enunciate even more. As for ad-libbing, do you mean like just saying certain words from my verses as another recorded track underneath, or like sayin stuff randomly kinda like a lotta rap now?

Also, should I turn down the volume on the verses just a lil bit?

Thanks!

yes you should turn the vocals down some thats what i meant by out front, everyone gets excited after they write a song, you don't always have to memorize your verse before you spit, its all about finding your swag and being able to turn it on at will. I didn't have a problem with enunciation, the swag, the feeling, the vibe isn't really there, and if you just started it might be awhile before you find it, or you might be one of those people that just figure it out. as far as ad libs go, it is nearly impossible to do good adlibs without know what your swag is, but its basically hearing the track and recording on another track words phrases or sounds which give the track more dimensions and oomph. another thing with music, especially with rap you have to over-emphasize your feelings and meanings some times, when you normally talk to someone they have your body language and things to read that give them more clues as to what your feeling and what you mean, when you record all they have is your voice, so it often helps to go over the top a little, not to much but more so then you normally would. it may feel funny as you record at first, but when you play it back it will sound very nice and the emotions will shine through. for your flow, just think of your voice as another instrument, and make sure that they timing of the syllables matches the timing of every other note from everyother instrument. sure you can change your flow up so it doesn't sound boring, but it should still be tuned to the music and sound natural. keep at it tho

[cptfiasco]

it is killing me, what is that sampled guitar part from.....almost at the tip of my tongue

[renschen21]

I know it reminds me of the song at the end of Happy Gilmore haha

[renschen21]

Originally Posted by glenlata

yes you should turn the vocals down some thats what i meant by out front, everyone gets excited after they write a song, you don't always have to memorize your verse before you spit, its all about finding your swag and being able to turn it on at will. I didn't have a problem with enunciation, the swag, the feeling, the vibe isn't really there, and if you just started it might be awhile before you find it, or you might be one of those people that just figure it out. as far as ad libs go, it is nearly impossible to do good adlibs without know what your swag is, but its basically hearing the track and recording on another track words phrases or sounds which give the track more dimensions and oomph. another thing with music, especially with rap you have to over-emphasize your feelings and meanings some times, when you normally talk to someone they have your body language and things to read that give them more clues as to what your feeling and what you mean, when you record all they have is your voice, so it often helps to go over the top a little, not to much but more so then you normally would. it may feel funny as you record at first, but when you play it back it will sound very nice and the emotions will shine through. for your flow, just think of your voice as another instrument, and make sure that they timing of the syllables matches the timing of every other note from everyother instrument. sure you can change your flow up so it doesn't sound boring, but it should still be tuned to the music and sound natural. keep at it tho

I had saved another mixing of the track with the verses down a lil bit and uploaded that to my sites (myspace/facebook), and also attached it again here. I kinda am a little confused, and I know not all feedback is going to be taken the right way, but as I recorded it, and listened to it, I thought my flow was really smoothe....but a couple of ya have thought otherwise. That's totally cool, just sayin haha. ONe of the reasons I toned down my voice some on this is that friends/fans said I had a tendency to yell too much on past verses so I thought i'd be more focused and calm on this one, and do subtle twists of words and stuff. BUT after relistening I think it could use a little bit of a jumpstart of life.

In the end tho...do you like the lyrics, and think it's a well written song? I think I really nailed the chorus as far as how I start off with the slow sung to go along with the depressive words, and then speed it up when I talk about how I started the comeback...