Songwriting critique please?

[ElKabong]

I know the recording is not the best. I did it in one take and the rest of my band wasn't there. I'm just looking for critique on the vocals and the overall song. Thank you in advance.

[PeterSimonRussell]

Hi Eddie,
Sounds like a young man having a go at singing punk. Well OK, but you gotta mean it.
Sort of take bigger breaths and sing it louder maybe.
The overall song I might be able to comment on when I hear it overall..... ? As a basic punk tune its fine.
The phrase "waiting for school to end" is probably the most interesting bit and a possible hook - consider developing this.
Stay away needs better enunciation since it sounds like stay awhile sometimes - which of course means the exact opposite - and stay a whale sometimes.

PS There is an unfinished section to this forum, where you might get some help completing it.

[ElKabong]

Thanks for the input! After I re-record it, I'll post it in the unfinished section.