How can I improve my songs?

[jessisays]

Here are parts of a few songs I have written. Most were from when I was 12-13. And yes, I am a girl, so I can write about this stuff for a few more years.
(and it probably sounds better with the music, but that's still in my head...)

(I couldn't come up with a good chorus)
It’s bigger than you know
Coming to consume
But you’re always hiding
Drowning in your doom

It’s coming like a fire
But you’re too caught up
With your own selfish desire
You can’t even see
What you’re becoming

(Chorus) (edit-)
You’re been in denial
You know I’m better than that
I’m not that senile (???)
But you act
Like you’re in combat
Constantly fighting inner battles
Not hurting anyone else
But you’re breaking apart
You know you’re just hurting yourself

It’s stronger than you realize
The force that over powers reason
But you’ve been ignoring it
Now you’ve got nothing to believe in

Are you really that blind
I gotta wonder what’s on your mind
That could possibly be more important
But you can’t steal away my pride
Only destroy your own life

(Chorus)


Gotta Be Free?

Someone told you
I’d be anything
Are you so gullible
To fall for a happy ending

(Pre-Chorus?) ugh..edit
Why did they lie to you
I thought they’d be true to you
Exactly the way I haven’t
How did you get it through your head
Cause those word’s were unsaid
Are you really that blind
Did you think in your mind
That I’m never gonna leave you behind

(Chorus)
When you’re with someone
It’s not a lifetime commitment
Unless you’ve got a ring on your finger
And a promise to go with it
I realize
I was probably more important to you
Than you were to me
But that’s exactly why
I’ve gotta be free…

And someone told you
That my feelings were mutual
But you didn’t trust me to ask
I promise I’m really not that cruel

Someone told you
To hold on and never let go
But they weren’t talking about me
But about hope

[mil0oz]

To be honest, I doubt anyone here can offer a decent criticism for you because of how little we have to go on.

This subject (good/bad songs) is relative, and open to influence from the individuals tastes. From my personal experience, melody rules my world regardless of genre. Without music, lyrics tend to look like a poorly written poem.

Try and get something recorded, even if it is only through your PC mic. Everyone will be far better placed then to offer some crit.

Best of luck, and stick with it. I believe the younger you start the better, so you are well placed.