Should I Stay or Should I Go

[Spunky Munkey]

One of the bands I play in has a few problems. Here they are

1. The practice is held at the drummers house, it's a smaller basement and we're all crammed together.
2. The band practices weekly, in theory but many weeks have gone by on occasion without a practice.
3. The lead singer has not yet learned all the lyrics.
4. With the exception of stuff like Queen, I can sing just as well as the lead singer.
5. The band has not yet started gigging after 6 months in the basement, bass player and other guitar have recently been changed.
6. There is secretive communications going on in the band. I am not included.
7. I am the guitar player and singer in another 3 piece.
8. It takes me an hour and half to drive each way to practice.
9. With the exception of the new bass player other band members don't always do their homework.
10. I am bored with this band.
11. The band seems to want to stay practicing in this basement and I'm trying to influence them to get the f out of the basement and into a proper size rehearsal place so everyone can hear each other. I don't feel they are serious enough about what they do.

Should I stay or Should I go. Would you have left sooner?

[brandondrury]

I've noticed that I've always tried to "tough it out" when encountering situations like this. I find that I almost always end up dreading the day that the band will break up as if it is the end of the world. Ironically, when it has occurred, I've always felt relieved and even glad that it was finally over.

For whatever reason, bands are sensitive social situations. You have that "secret discussion" crap happening frequently with every band.

If it was me, I would do two things. I would diplomatically stand up and say "this is how I think we need to get this band going". Everyone discusses the issue as if they are remotely secure (most people are obviously not secure with themselves enough to speak their mind). See if everyone really wants to play shows. Ask the others what you could be doing better, etc.

I'd do the serious talk. It helps to be buzzed a little bit because people lower their inhibitions and end up being much more honest in this setting.

The cool part about this kind of meeting is that it could bring everyone very close together and you could go on to do great things. The other side is it will break up the band, which can also be an excellent thing.

That's the way I see it. Good luck. These things are never easy.

Brandon

[Spunky Munkey]

All things considered I quit this messed up band, and;


I just got back from a practice with a bass player I know and it was much more fun and fulfilling. Just good simple 3 piece classic rock fun, It's an interesting practice spot because it's a large room in a recording studio with a recording room in front of it that you look at and can't see into. All night long a bunch of dudes were dropping in and out of this room which irritated me slightly walking through our practice spot, but I just found out the head honcho's wants to record us next week so sounds good to me. I'm not really someone who like's looking at that kind of mirror glass you can't see through to see who is looking at you but on the same token I don't really give a f anyway.

The drummer we had tonight didn't work so we're using someone different next week. He wanted to form some kind of artsy unknown song type of thing and both myself and the bass player said right upfront to him once we heard this that this project is simply bar room classic rock, it takes time to learn the words to a lot of new songs and we simply picked the best 30 or so classic rock songs out of a 100. I don't mean to sound cruel but the reality is that it's the bass player's and my show, a product if you will and the drummer has to be someone who is looking for something like this. We have 10 drummers who responded to our ad.

[Spunky Munkey]

and in reply to Brandon's post, reference the other band I did try the diplomatic thing but the drummer was the only person who replied to me, kind of like a spokesman and the gist of it was, that the band was going to continue practising in his basement so about 2 secs later I emailed my resignation and shut down the webpages.

[brandondrury]

i think you made the right decision, Spunky Munkey.

If you don't like the direction a band is headed, you should jump ship. There are lots of other more productive ways to spend your time than dealing with bandmembers you don't agree with.

Brandon