It was the most serious relationship...

[guitargod09]

I've been going through some big life changes. I don't have too many friends any more. I can deal with that, its something Ive becomed accustomed to. But my best friend, my girlfriend of a few years just left me because I'm not in a relationship with Jesus Christ, or a devout christian. I'm not against the idea of God, and I'm willing to try to see what I could get into, but I'm not there right now. I just dont feel this is fair at all and I'm worried that Ive lost the only person who I can talk to anymore. sry i just dont really know what to do.

[superpete]

Hey man, Hav eyou talked to her and told her everything your feeling etc
try make her see your side of thing
Im not good at relationship advce but talking things through sounds liek the best option at the moment.

[newkid]

Originally Posted by guitargod09

I've been going through some big life changes. I don't have too many friends any more. I can deal with that, its something Ive becomed accustomed to. But my best friend, my girlfriend of a few years just left me because I'm not in a relationship with Jesus Christ, or a devout christian. I'm not against the idea of God, and I'm willing to try to see what I could get into, but I'm not there right now. I just dont feel this is fair at all and I'm worried that Ive lost the only person who I can talk to anymore. sry i just dont really know what to do.

Sorry to hear about your problems.

Why wait?
The sooner you figure it out the sooner you can be back together.

Belief in God really is the logical option.
But that is not the real issue here.

Either God created everything, or else the universe just happened to come from nothing in a gigantic explosion of energy.

It is much easier to believe that God created it all, than it is to believe that from absolutely nothing some sort of magical event happened all by itself to create the universe and mankind.

Now that raises the question of where did God come from.

Not going into that unless somebody asks, but that is a lot easier to answer than explaining how, from absolutely nothing , enough energy got released ( to create 100 billion solar systems each with 100 billion stars plus all the planets and other matter which is just condensation of that energy and still makes the universe expand faster and faster.

The key issue here is Jesus of Nazareth, and who He really was.
Now historical evidence clearly proves that such a person named Jesus existed, and that He was crucified and buried.

What proves that Jesus was Christ is the resurrection.
If He came back from the dead and arose after 3 days that should convince you, and would be enough proof for most juries.

If He did, and thus is who He said Hewas, then you would be a fool not to believe in Him immediately.

The tomb was empty on the third day.
His disciples saw Him and Thomas even verified it was not somebody else by examining the nailmarks in the hands and the spear hole in His side.

The Sanhedrin who had Him killed would have done anything to discredit the resurrection because that would prove they were wrong. They failed in disproving His resurrection.

So if you followed up to here, we need to look at the options:
1- Somebody stole the body --
2 - Women went to the wrong tomb --
3 - Hallucinations --
4 - They lied
5 - Resusicitation
6 - It is really true

Again, not going into detail on all the options unless somebody asks. The first options are easy enough to dismiss if you really think about them logically. The best version of that is by Dr. Gene Scott and his Easter message. You can find it online for all of the details of the reasoning, if the following logic is not enough.

I could email a text version if you want it all.

The very short version:
His disciples were persecuted.
But nobody changed their story.

Even after they scattered to other countries to spread the word and were alone they all had the same retelling of events.

To avoid torture and death all they had to do was say we made it all up. Nobody else would have known.
But none of them did that. Almost all of them were brutally tortured and killed. Thomas was skinned alive.

Would anybody suffer torture and death for a hoax?
Maybe one nutcase, but not all of the disciples, in all the different countries where they suffered and were killed.

Now this is not mathematical proof. But any jury hearing the entire case would have to say that Jesus was Christ and He was the Son of God.

Now you need to get your girlfriend and go see somebody who understands Christ to start telling you what His message for mankind was and what He wants you to do with your life.

[paul999]

Originally Posted by guitargod09

I've been going through some big life changes. I don't have too many friends any more. I can deal with that, its something Ive becomed accustomed to. But my best friend, my girlfriend of a few years just left me because I'm not in a relationship with Jesus Christ, or a devout christian. I'm not against the idea of God, and I'm willing to try to see what I could get into, but I'm not there right now. I just dont feel this is fair at all and I'm worried that Ive lost the only person who I can talk to anymore. sry i just dont really know what to do.

That is a seriously tough one. Is it because you are not a devout christian or does she have a problem with your actual behavior. If you are a nice person of high moral strength, open minded and have a clear set of values you believe in that make you become a better person there shouldn't be a problem that you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. He's dead your alive behavior is all that matters. If there is a heaven and you live by all the above qualities the God that they talk about would love to have you in heaven.

If she has a problem with your behavior and thinks a relationship with Jesus will "fix" you. It would be best if she where up front with you and told you what really is going on. Maybe she already has. People can ask for specific behavior changes and you should negotiate. People should challenge idea's. No one should be the thought Police.

Cheers
Paul

[brandondrury]

But my best friend, my girlfriend of a few years just left me because I'm not in a relationship with Jesus Christ, or a devout christian.

You know, there is nothing like seeing YET ANOTHER glowing testament of God's love.

The problem with this is 2 dimensional. You have the issue of religion coupled with the issue of a relationship. As much as I'd like to slam the religion side again today, I think it's best in this particular situation to look at it as a "black box" labeled "Expectation 001".

In relationships we all have expectations about our significant others. We all have ideas of what it is we are looking for. Then you find a chick, you get along, you escalate. Maybe your girl is everything you had every dreamed of. Maybe your girl has 7 of the 10 qualities you wanted. Maybe your girl has 2 of the 10 qualities you wanted, but the relationship somehow works....well!

It's obvious your girl wanted her future kids to be raised in a Christian household. That's a common value among Christians. It seems fairly noble, but upon deep investigation it has it's problems. Regardless, this is clearly a need she doesn't plan on compromising on. The reasons she feels this way are irrelevant and end up in the self-serving, tail-chasing bashing I mentioned above or in the tail-chasing religions arguments mentioned below.

I think you need to determine if it's really over. Are you really willing to give up? Do you think she is inflexible in her views? Are you guys really done for? A part of me says you can save this thing without corrupting your own values. A part of me says that she will most likely have to corrupt her values. A part of me says that maybe you two aren't compatible based on the criteria she has laid down.

Why wait?
The sooner you figure it out the sooner you can be back together.

Belief in God really is the logical option.
But that is not the real issue here.

"Why wait?" is a fair question. However, much like a military draft, your best troops are your volunteers. Not the ones you force into action at gun point.

A person who chooses down the God path should do it because it he/she feels it's the right thing to do and not because of blackmail....regardless if this is a popular technique (particularly with Islam) for building a religious empire.

Regardless, I think this it is BEYOND SELFISH to look at this as a time exploit a dude while he is down and feed him religious propaganda 101. This IS the time to illustrate God's love. Why people who advocate God's love so much are so stingy with is beyond me, but it's BY FAR the biggest hurdle between you and your goals.

If you are a nice person of high moral strength, open minded and have a clear set of values you believe in that make you become a better person there shouldn't be a problem that you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Unless she has it in here head that she must absolutely be with an active, practicing Christian. It's possible that she may end up with with one of the endless number of hardcore practicing Christians who rape kids. Regardless, the title may mean more to her than it does to some of us.

He's dead your alive behavior is all that matters. If there is a heaven and you live by all the above qualities the God that they talk about would love to have you in heaven.

This is closer to my views, but Christianity, by default, has nothing to do with behavior. Christianity basically says that humans are flawed and the ONLY way of getting to the promised land is a relationship with God (which I still don't understand what that means, exactly).


My Advice
- Ignore the religious debates. There is a time and place for that. Anyone who wants to do that now is clearly trying to exploit you while you are banged up.

- Focus on her needs and see if they are flexible.

- Focus on your needs and see if they are flexible. Think about the good in the relationship. Think about all the bad. Think about why you haven't maintained your old buddies over the years. (RED FLAG)

- A part of me thinks that maybe this break up has almost nothing to do with religion. I could be wrong, but it's a possibility worth investigating.

- If not, begin the healing process. Make a list of old buddies and start contacting them. Dig up an old hobby. Start a new hobby. Find ways to occupy your time. Go lift weights.

- NEVER act out of malice. Running out and just banging a new chick isn't the answer.

[String7th]

A few years and it's now a problem? Not likely the root of the issues, or something happened to make her change her religious strength.

If it's the later, obviously not your fault, she decided she wanted to be more religious and you didn't or she never told you so you didn;t even know to try. This is all normal, rifts happen and grow and eventually can become the ender. Trick is to communicate, whether it be about religion, laundry, kids, ability to put the damn fork down.

Other option, she always felt she was more religious had kinda bugged her but wanted to keep you instead of making an issue out of it. Then something else started to grow, talk of kids, laundry, your gut, and instead of talking about it she opted to chicken out and used something else as a scapegoat.

Either way, you move on, play guitar more, stalk her on Myspace for a while and eventually get over it. Sure feels like the end of the world now, but it just takes time.

[String7th]

Originally Posted by brandondrury

- NEVER act out of malice. Running out and just banging a new chick isn't the answer.

I totally agree. If you get back together, you will never hear the end of it, like you cheated or something.

But, all guys know this is true, the second you hit the single market, all of sudden you got options coming at you left and right.

[csiscs]

'Running out and just banging a new chick isn't the answer'

[jagcmos]

Talk with her and try to get to the details of why she left you.

I visited your myspace page, is it the music she objects to ?


Take Brandon's advice and call up some old friends.
You might also want to sit down and start putting your feelings into lyrics.

[newkid]

Originally Posted by paul999

That is a seriously tough one. Is it because you are not a devout christian or does she have a problem with your actual behavior. If you are a nice person of high moral strength, open minded and have a clear set of values you believe in that make you become a better person there shouldn't be a problem that you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. He's dead your alive behavior is all that matters. If there is a heaven and you live by all the above qualities the God that they talk about would love to have you in heaven.

If she has a problem with your behavior and thinks a relationship with Jesus will "fix" you. It would be best if she where up front with you and told you what really is going on. Maybe she already has. People can ask for specific behavior changes and you should negotiate. People should challenge idea's. No one should be the thought Police.

Cheers
Paul

God/Christ did not say that though. Being good or doing good things does not get you into heaven. It is a matter of faith. But if you truly believe you must try to stop doing the old things and not rationalise doing bad things intentionally.

Adam sinned. Ever since mankind has been born doomed to die. Nobody can be good enough to avoid judgement and punishment. But accepting Christ as your saviour which is free is both necessary and sufficient.

I am thinking she loves the guy and wants to save him for eternity. But certainly not going to hang around without a commitment but would welcome marriage forever if he were different. It is truly win-win if he gets his head on straight. He gets the girl and eternal salvation.

Nobody is the thought police. The guy with the girl problem should challenge his own beliefs. The logical sensible rational and sane approach is to believe because the evidence all points to that being correct not because he wants to get some poon or just have a friend.

Selfish evil people will always find a way to dismiss the existence of God as well as morals ethics and obeying the law.

Just look at what wall street did to us. Love of money is a root of many evils and who loves money more than the Grumpy Old Pervert party and their baalamic dollar worshippers.

Read Harry Browne's book How I found freedom in an unfree world. It will help set the context for making such big decisions.

Many will be misled by false prophets, false teachers, false religions, or self deception. This is too serious to believe in your own wisdom to decide the truth.