Into the sun

[sieglerm]

Here's a song I wrote recently. Please let me know what you think.

[Btonning]

Dude! This is good stuff. It reminds me of the shins, I think it would
fit perfect on the garden state soundtrack. My kind of music. Great job.

[bendwa]

Originally Posted by sieglerm

Here's a song I wrote recently. Please let me know what you think.

This is a really good song with a great feel. It'd be cool if you cleaned it up a bit. As is, it's headed to the mp3 player. Agree with Shins comment

My efforts are pretty amateurish, so with that in mind my $0.02...

1) Guitar has a bit too much low end, and for me, a bit much reverb.
2) Lyrics are a bit hard to understand. The amount of reverb sounds awesome on the "into your arms" part, but on the lower sung notes (such as opening), it might be making things a bit soupy. Maybe just some compression on the voice would be all that's needed. Overall, the voice sounds really, really good.
3) Percussion sounds a bit timid and distant. Maybe a combination of timing/level?
4) Sometime I think I hear pretty good kick, other times none. Maybe that's bass?
5) Maybe open up the stereo field just a bit?
6) On the "coming through...ough...ough...ough" delay effect, it might sound better to automate the delay so that it's consistent. And also reduce the low freq on the delayed parts.
7) Are you using a click track? In some places (around 2:40), then tempo changes are really effective. Other places it feels like things are wandering a bit.
8) It'd be nice to hear the "ohhhhs" before the breathy "ahhs" at a consistent level.
9) Ending kind of grinds down in fits. Maybe rework that a bit?

Again, I'm a bit hesitant to be so prescriptive, but I think there's a lot of potential here. Be careful with too much of the above advice, I'd hate to have a hand in wrecking this But I really hope you take a few more passes through on this song, even if you ignore everything above. It's a great song.

[sieglerm]

Wow thanks for all of the input and effort.

Your comments are quite helpful and much of them I considered tinkering with.

1. It sounded a bit too low on certain systems to me. I'll probably drop the low levels down a bit.
2. I'll check out reduced reverb on the vocals. There's a backing vocal as well. I may just knock the volume down on that.
3 & 4. My guitar whap may be too low/inconsistent in volume. I may bring that up and add a higher pitched hit as well. It doesn't have any bass.
5 & 6. I'll test these out. I did automate the delay on the verse sections (not the oh, oh, oh's).
7. I'm not. That's definitely something I need to start doing. The tempo likely is wandering a bit. I just lay down the guitar first on it's own.
8. Right the ahh's may be a bit loud perhaps in comparison.
9. Yeah i'll clean the ending up.

Thanks again and glad you liked it. A shins comparison can't be bad.

[nippecraft]

Awesome song! I'll leave the critiquing to the other listeners. This is a good soundtrack song. I can really see it played in a movie. great job!

[Vulconizer]

Okay, normally not what I listen to. Having said that:

This has some very definite potential man. I can hear some things added to the arrangement that would take it over the top. The cool thing is, it kept my attention. I'm a jaded mofo, so, you know...

Work on the stuff already mentioned above. It does need a bit of polishing on the timing issues and the vox are just too breathy for me in the verses. Get the 'oohs' and 'aahs' sorted out volume-wise, etc..

Do yourself a favor though... Don't kill it by making it too strict to the click.

Post a new mix for us when you get it ready.