Croix / The Watchman

[Croix]

I've been working on this one lately and there comes a time when I've got to quit banging my ears against the board and let someone else hear it. There is quite a bit going on in this one but I think it has some promise in working together.

It might be chaffing a bit at the low end but I have not had any progress in cleaning it up some more. Any suggestions or comments in any area would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Michael

[GnzlO]

hi, you know i'm a newbie on doing recordings by myself, i have made entire records but with engeenier etc, i think the song is very good, but in my opinion, the only thing that i dont find on the recording is that drum sound a little bit to mechanical, it would be great if you put one more realistic, everything else is just fine dude, keep going, nice song.

[ChicoBluez]

I like the mood projected from this song. Slightly dark and dreamy, yet searching for an answer.

Here's my bash...Vocals can be a bit more forceful without losing the desired airy/storytelling effect. Towards the end, the vocal falls out sync (cadence) for a measure causing a flow break up. Also, vocals are not balanced with the music (too loud).

Drums are too far back in the mix. Hard to make out drum tones. A slightly busier drummer would help too.

Guitars! This is where your song really shines! Great slide work! Very pro sounding and very good pitch and tone. Double the guitar tracks...slide most of all. I would make the slide at least as thick as the vocal by doubling the track.

As far as song structure...Your chorus is strong enough to have 2 measures of the 2nd verse eliminated to get back to the main hook. Last but not least, the song should fade about 20 sec. sooner with the ending slide busier keeping the same feel.

Great pop song! You've spent some time on it and deserve much credit.

Chico

[Croix]

Thanks for the replies. Very useful feedback from both of you. It is so useful to have specific areas to revisit and tweak around with.

It looks like 45 people have at least opened the thread. Only 2 replies! I'm probably asking for trouble but, come on, jump into the fray.... At the end of the day this is all about personal taste. There are lots of flavors on this site. Take a quick lick here.

[adorian]

Intro guitar lead on the distorted guitar sound a bit fake, like a bad modeling amp or plugin, there's just something wrong with the midrange of it and the way it sits in the mix. Maybe if you bring it back and add more ambience on it would be okay. I would've recorded this guitar a bit drier on the distortion and with a room mic added for extra ambience. Besides the guitar I like the way the track sounds.

[Croix]

Thanks. It is a strat into a POD into a DI. Maybe it is too hot in the mix. I'll play with that. I did add a bit of reverb on top. I'll play with that too. I like the basic sound of it though.

But I am now noticing the drums more. They do need work.

Anyone else?????

[Cailyn]

As others have mentioned, the drums are generic and too "on the beat" as drummers like to say. If you are programming, with something of this tempo, the snare especially should always slightly lead the beat. I think the low end--bass and kick--could be brought up in the mix though I tend to like bottom-heavy recordings.

HTH

[brandondrury]

I'd like more kick drum. It's pretty much non-existent on my stereo. The bass is fairly subtle as well.

I'm not excited by the vocal sound. The peformance could be a bit tighter, but I can live with it. I think this is an all-or-nothing vocal situation. I think you go with something bone dry or you can with something really bold and interesting. I think either would work for this song.

I like song!

Brandon

[Croix]

Thanks. Salient stuff. Both recent comments bring up significant weaknesses in my recordings. I am not much of a performer. I am much more comfortable writing, but the only way I can hear my songs is by recording them. (No one seems to want to play them ) Chops don’t just flow out of me as it seems when I watch other people play live. Just playing in time has been a challenge for me. I am probably too much on the beat because I am desperately trying to keep a beat. I have not played with a real drummer before. I just hole up in my garage and knock out songs. I need to get out more often.

I don’t want to sound too dim, but how do I control the drums to lead the beat? Do I play along and then delay the snare, or do I play behind the beat to allow it to take the lead? Or do I need to find a real drummer? That would probably be too good for my own good.

My vocal are even more problematic. It is a freakin’ nightmare to work on them. I can’t seem to sing the same line the same way twice. I record many takes and then slice and dice until I shape it into something that reasonably reflects the song that I hear in my head. When you say a tighter vocal performance, what does that mean? My immediate impression is that my previous vegematic comment illustrates your point. When you say "bold and interesting", is that in regard to effects, or lack thereof with bone dry, or in the underlying performance?

I am fairly new at this and I still don’t fully understand all the knobs and levers. But I must say that I am having a blast. The breadth and depth of the process seem to be fathomless. A great prospect for the obsessive. So many questions. So much to learn. One thing I must say is that in my short sojourn here I have already learned more practicalities than I have in all my previous searching. Just with this song alone I have been directed toward several practical avenues. This place is an oasis.

[Chazamatazz]

man its hard to type- I'm relly psycholically and emotionally into this song. I didn't know how to listen to the other songs I critiqued- I liked them but this one i feel is right up my alley. Its haunting and there's a reason for me to listen to it, the whole song.BUT...the vocal and the guitar..the distorted slide guitar are to me, in definite collision course they ride side by side but and think they like each other but they can't exactly hear what each is mouthing. your voice is like Allan Parsons' man....I've never heardd anyone who was. Actually its not Allan Parson, its Erick Woolfson, who sings for and with Allan Parson(s?) and he has one of the most unique and haunting voices in the business. I just felt tension with the two together. I don't want to hear them both stop....so this is what might work. each sound has a character right- the vocal and ythe slide guitar? either leave one with its character and neuter the other, take the effect off of it or whatever ittakes or develope the character of each voice a little more so that each sound can be distinguished or..turn one down. I'm going to listen again.. the writing is equisite an d the recording intriguing, and it seems to speak of america.