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But I think most people who go to listen to a band play are NOT overly absorbed as you are, Brandon.
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I think you are out of your mind. You have WAY more faith in humanity.
Take a look at the movies that our barely capitalist system chooses as the most popular movies. Bruckheimer is ABSURDLY successful because he cranks out dumbed down shit that is fun. The over-the-top action is completely obvious and there is no digging needed because there is no depth. People want Star Wars, The Matrix, and Armageddon in most situations. There will always be an IFC (thank god!) but that market is WAY smaller.
If you are talking about a coffee shop gig, I guess I can see your point, but that's heavily genre dependent. When people pay $40 for a ticket they want to feel low end knock them in the chest and they want a blinding light show. They want it LOUD. They want to feel like they are part of something. It's this way for just about any big show.
I know lots of REALLY talented musicians who play for 4 people most of the time. I know a few bands who play the latest radio crap and play for 500 people most of the time.
I agree that a band / person can seem fake, but in my experience I've only seen maybe 2 or 3 bands who have looked corny. The other 10,000,000 bands have under-entertained. A person's face better look like Don Rickles, if that is the visual highlight of the night.
Again, it depends on where you are coming from. Amos Lee plays be different rules than Motley Crue.
Brandon